We also saw the sunset after the rain..still in Wisconsin by the way ;)
Anostica

Pictures taken on the way back from West Lafayette to Minnesota...Rained whole time in Wisconsin as it always does. We saw a Beautiful rainbow..Taken from my new digi cam...bro was driving and I was sitting in the front. He was helping me with the pics ;)
Anostica

Stuck..

My parents came and visited me this past friday..it was fun! At the last minute, I figured I'd head on home with them to Minnesota. Now I'm back home and the air is so much fresher here, the weather is nicer here, there are so many more trees here..and I'm away from school!

Yet...I'm stuck. Been looking for tickets to get back to Indiana..hmm, well..figured I'd get a round trip considering I"ll be heading back home to MN again later this month to travel with family to Toronto; but...tickets are expensive! Yep, yep..looking at starting cost of 202..or 329--when I can usually get tickets for at least 161..Wonder if waiting will make a diff..

The big guy was lookin for me..

So..I went to lab a bit late today. Not because I woke up late, but because I had to take a shower and wait for my hair to dry..didn't feel like blowdrying it.

Get to school. People in my lab tell me, hey Boss is looking for you. Lab assistant says the same..boss looking for you. Lab secretary says Boss is looking for you. Secretary notices the fear in my face, and she's like oh no it's nothing bad don't worry. I was freaked!!!! Turns out boss wants to put me on his grant for next year to get paid, and wants to hold off on my fellowship so we can use it a few years down the road. OK

Got me thinking though. Look at all the trust these people put into me. I hope I can match up to what they want. It's very scary really :( I want to do the best, and prove to them that I can do it, but sometimes I wonder if it's enough...and if I've got what it takes..

ayee another journal entry! I gotta stop!

I'm getting old!

Oh it's hitting me. I was putting my hair up this morning..found the LONGEST white hair!! I get the little itty bitty onces by my forehead, which I think is genetic because some others in my family had it around my age..but this one was HUGE! Kinda made we wanna keep it..haha..nahhh

Well considering I'll be a quarter of a century old in less than a week..makes sense!! Hey...everyone be proud..this country gives everybody the day off for MY birthday! Yes that's right..I'm that special. Nah...it's a holiday and it's for other reasons than me..duhh

Thank YOU!!!!!

To all the people I know..you've known about the stress I've been through since springbreak onwards! Or since this semester started!!! Ever since I got my Qualifier papers to read..well I took the test this morning. Took me exactly 4 hours to do it. I'm done done done done done!!!! I am already second guessing myself and wondering if I wrote that right or this right..Anyways, time will tell!!

Just wanted to thank all of you for wishing me well, by all the support you've given me through txt msgs, phone calls (sorry I know I haven't been picking up!!), e-mails..It meant a lot!! All of you from here and around the world...I appreciate it tremendously! I wanted to send out thank you cards, but my friend thinks it's not a good idea....he sees no point..So I wrote it here instead. But if you want a card, let me know....

And now I think I will treat myself and do something I haven't done in a few months!!! :( Me gonna go shop ;)

The worst Feeling!

So...I studied last night till about 3 a.m...figured I'd head to bed. Well...what a night. I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned till....sometime around 6ish a.m. :( It was the worst feeling really! It really does suck to stay up all night and to watch the sunrise only to realize that you are still up! I ended up closing the blinds on the windows in my room this morning, solely so I could get some sleep.

I have been trying to figure out why I was up so late..I might have been anxious of my test. Now it's come to a point that I just want to get it over with more than anything. Maybe things are making sense to me..or my mind is telling me, yah yah, enough already just think it makes sense and get it over with. I also had drank chai at midnight, which isn't the best thing to do--even though I've got a pretty good tolerance from the caffeine from Chai considering I've been drinking it since I was like 3!..Plus I had been eating around 11:30ish p.m., something I rarely ever do. BUT I think the biggest thing hurting me was the fact that it was damn HOT here!!! I had the window opened all the way, and the fan running, and still was hot. Yep, I was opting for the air conditioning, but current roommate and I don't run on the same body temperature. In fact, none of my roommates will ever run at my body temp!

I sure as heck that I get some good sleep tonight. It feels soo weird today..sorta feel all out of it. Hopefully tomorrow I'm more alert for that booger of a test.

off to finish the rest of my chai tea..yah yah yah, it's not midnight! ;)

The last 2 days!

Yes you all heard it..I have 2 days including today before my big ol qualifier exam on monday. To set the record, it's at 11 a.m. I scheduled the time myself. It was to be offered at 8:15 a.m., but I told them I'm not a morning person, and certainly cannot imagine taking a test that early (though a year ago--I was able to!). Anyways, so yes, the test is at 11 a.m.

For all that know me..you all know that I'm probably the biggest worry worm out there. I can study study study, and never think it's enough. Yah, I don't think it's enough--even though I've been studying for the last 2 weeks!!!!!. I would be freaking out right now..and am trying not to that much. I have to keep it cool, because the exam is HUGE, and freaking out will not help me. Being a pessimist doesn't help much either here :( Ahh...for all reading this, please pray for me..whether it be to the "spirits" Gods, or God...pray for me!!!

My brother and sister called me last night at 3 and told me to go to bed. They thought I had been up too late studying and couldn't imagine me getting much done when it's so late. It made me realize something about myself. I guess I believe that I can suffer now..be the shitty person, and study study study..and really not be so happy..but just push myself to do it. All I know is that all the studying I do will pay off (I WISH!)..and if it doesn't, at least I can walk away from it knowing that I really really did try. And say that this test does work out for me...then more power to me, as I can enjoy the time after the test..and be proud that I was able to jump over one hurdle towards my ultimate goal.........

off to study..

Ahhh..the pic says it all. I went out to eat with my friend; and I was hungry as heck! I eat dinner at 5ish, but she made me wait till 8!!! :( Anyways, feel sooo full, that my stomach could explode!!!! I drank some chai..no help :( Oprah's gonna hate me..I've kicked myself out of her bootcamp!!!!!
Anostica

Multi-personality disorder or what?

So...was talking to my friend Tony, and he said he could figure my personality out based on the Myers Brigg test. He figured I was an ENFJ. I remember having taken the test before and looked up my results I've kept over the years on a file. And what do you know. I was an ENFJ. For those who don't know, that means "Extraverted intuitive feeling judging". But that test I took when I was 19..and I KNOW I've changed since then. All the schooling that's gone through me has made me more in tune with my nerdyness than anything else. Besides I've become a bit more quiet over the years. Anyways, took the test again tonight..and I got ISFJ this time..so what does that mean...well it means I'm "Introverted Sensing feeling judging"...though I lost the extrovertedness, I also lost the intuitiveness..oops

soo..my hunch of the nerdyness kicking in..yep happened. My hunch of being a dork..yep happend. Anyways, wanna read more?

Info on ENFJ is here http://www.typelogic.com/enfj.html

Info on ISFJ is here http://www.typelogic.com/isfj.html


And if you're interested in taking the test..PLEASE Do..and tell moi the results! ;) Do it at the following link:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Nutcase(s)..

What kind of a nutcase kills people? Guess I said it, a nutcase!!! Icck I'm sick of watching the news or even reading the news on yahoo. It's all about people being killed--yah that's what "really" makes the news anyways. I hate the fact that this society has changed its way of reporting the news too though. Yah, it's more that you have give a detailed explanation of how the person died, and better yet, giving the news "visually" with gruesome dead bodies and blood is even better! Yes, that really gets the point across. Maybe to some..I sit there, along with my mom, just remembering the dead bloody bodies forever. And just hearing of how the person died, makes me think of what went through their mind, and how they felt :((

I quit watching the news on t.v. probably after the Columbine shootings..maybe even before it..but I know after those shootings, it got pretty bad. Now days, due to the War, they've become keen on showing little kids getting hurt, and showing very gruesome pictures on t.v. Same goes for captives being held up..and then explaining months later about how they have been killed--yep the details. I'm still not over quite a few of them. My brother and sister have realized that when they're watching t.v. and something gruesome comes up, they tell me to leave the room. But then there's yet another point to it all..they say showing all this may "help"..or something.

I'm not sure what it does..all I know is that it makes me feel like crap!! Just read the news on yahoo about some retarded nutcase in Idaho who killed 3 people and two little kids...a triple homicide or something. Didn't need to know that there was "blood everywhere"..I'm sure next week they'll post the whole news about how and what happened...Again, one can say in the news three died..but do you have to explain..yah the head was chopped and thrown across the room????!!!?? :(

Ease of Mind..

So..my roommate this semester is a pretty good one. Actually she's great! She never bugs me, and I can study all I want...but this week she left. And heck, never felt the "ease of mind" I have now..than I've ever had before. It only makes me realize how much I ENJOY living by myself! Oh if only I could and SHOULD! I've never studied so well..or been so happy, till today... but then I wonder, is this momentary or forever? Hmm..time will tell... ;)

Could it be that I like having the WHOLE place to myself...because I can do whatever. And don't feel like I'm stuck in a lil room of my own? hmm...just a thought..

Book Babysitter

Yep yep..that's me. If any of you are wondering, I like to babysit books. I realized this today actually. Was studying, and figured I'd take a break to watch Oprah..Had the guts to bring the books along, and put them in front of the t.v. while I watched Oprah. I didn't open them at all..just baby-sat them. Made me realize how many other times I have done this before!! Go on trips be it here in US, or international..My bag is always loaded with some books to read or some type of work. But do I ever open those suckers? Nope...just like to have their presence..as if the stuff in them will magically be put down into my head..hahah

I was craaavvvvving CheeseCake today along with my roommate. So we decided to get some cheesecake. I called all over town, hoping to get that perfect slice of cheesecake! I called Scotty's Brewhouse, Applebees, Starbucks..to name a few. All of them dummy's have stupid cheesecake with CARAMEL swirl..icck, that's just nasty!!!! So...I then called "Spageddies"..mm, they had Cheesecake..plain! But they only put rasberry topping or caramel on it..gimme a break! I told them I wanted chocolate! Finally....the cook or whoever it was allowed it..and YES I was able to get the cake..mmm, was it wonderful! Anyways the pic above says it all...YUM!
Anostica

Your Surivor Palau Twin is Tom

Tough, athletic, and a true competitor. You tend to take control of situations.

Who Are You From Survivor Palau?

Just in time for the Survivor Finale...I just took this thing. I'm not sure if I'm really Tom. Maybe a bit tough, not much of a huge competitor..and heck I'm not an athlete at all! I get tired just walking up state street here!!!!

The Power of Our Mind..

Just was thinking about how we go about our daily lives...with our brain controlling or well at least sending the signals to the rest of our body, conveying what WE want to do..or "think" we want to do. Then you know...it's so weird how at times our brain can just take over us, and we are left sitting there wondering how we've become a prisoner of our brain. It's like this thing is controlling us, but we have no control over IT. I know I'm probably not making any sense...or maybe I am. But here's the thing; when people get emotional over something and then depressed. What happens initially is that our emotions are us, we are happy because we feel good..then, this monster (our brain) becomes so sad, and we have no control of making it better. All we can do is sit back and watch, and hope that over time..it'll heal. Otherwise you try out the St. John's Wort, or get the Paxil going, but going about it the natural way is better.

Another case to bring out my point clearly. So surely there are people out there (not me), who decide to do drugs. Then once they are addicted..they might know it's bad and would like to quit..but what's preventing them from doing it is this monster in their head which has become addicted to it (drug). And man..does the brain take it's time to heal!!!

Anyways it's all about chemical imbalance..just looked at it in a different perspective. Makes me wonder at times, if we are really the "rulers" of ourselves..or is there some bigger higher power beyond our conscience (yet inside us) controlling our every action....that being other than just a chemical imbalance..and other than the religious God controlling us perspective.

I know..very non-structured argument..hopefully I made sense..and hah Oprah inspired me to write this one! ;)

Lightening is the best!!!!

Oh..I'm the most happiest I've been in months!! This place finally gets rain, and better yet, a rockin loud thunderstorm! I've been sitting by my window just watching the rain pour, and see the lightening...just hoping that the next thunder will be louder than the one I just heard!

Then there's my roommate..who is freaking out.why? What's with ligtening and being so scary? I don't get it! It's not like it'll hit you...and the chance of it hitting is pretty slim! ohhhhh..If I had my wish..I'd want this storm to go on throughout the night...for the next few days!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Because Oprah Said So!!!

Interesting day..Roommate and I went grocery shopping. We must have spent..no let me rephrase, roommate must have spent 20 minutes in the ceral aisle. Yah, she wanted to get the most healthiest cereal out there. Aaah, so much to choose from I know. And she's all about trying something new! I just stick to my plain old Cheerios. Anyways, she wanted "whole grain"..and not "whole wheat". Yes for all you out there, there is a BIG difference! I didn't know it either really. Just been taking breaks each day to watch Oprah. Yesterday it was about "don't go through another summer Fat"..haha. So yes, Whole grain, nine grains are good, and whole wheat is Baaad...same with White bread!

So roommate finally figured out the cereal she wanted. Then it was my turn. I, being the addicted white bread eater since my childhood, decided, hmm, Oprah said Whole Grain...so I bought Whole grain (well nine grain) bread from Panera Bread...not the most best tasting..but I hear it's good for you. And if Oprah says it...well I'll do it..nooooooot...we'll see how long this lasts...

Could I take it any easier..

Just got done reviewing for my Qualifier studying I did tonight...it's about 3:56 a.m...gonna head to bed in a few. As always, some thought hits me at night and I figure I should write about it, before it either slips my mind, or because I might not have time to write it.

So here I am..writing at about 4 a.m. The sun should rise by 5:25 a.m...only an hour and half away. I only know this because I watched the weather today on t.v.!

Anyways, could I take it any easier. Just thinking of school and topics of classes in general. Spoke to a friend studying for some class..I won't say the name of the subject..because I know if I do, someone is bound to yell at me for being so rude and thinking it's easier. Anyways this subject that my friend was studying for was and is a bit too easy for me. Got me thinking though..if I majored in that..would I really care? Got me thinking that I only can study for classes which I find as a challenge. If a class seems way too easy for me, I lose interest. I need something or some type of class which makes me think, day and night. Not something which I read and answer the questions to, and walk away from it. More like a class that requires me to sleep on some thought..so that it only makes sense and I figure it all out the next day..if not a few days down the road.

Maybe I like challenges..or it's the way I think..or maybe that's how EVERYONE is..who knows..

Okay off to bed..

Smoothie Season is here!!

Yes yes you heard it..Smoothie season is here! Ever since I moved here..I've been addicted to smoothies..mostly because it's so damn HOT here! I made a smoothie for myself just a bit ago..was amazingly awesome tasting! yum yum yum!

this place lies about the weather...yah they claim it was supposed to rain today..yah whatever. All I see is stupid clouds outside, and a CLEAR stupid sky! I wanna see lightening, and hear thunder..and smell rain..or whatever the smell is..when it rains

Oh I miss rain!! I feel like a farmer hoping it rains because my crops need it.hahaha

Ohhh...the song "ready to fly"...by Richard Marx..is mucho good!! Just downloaded it ;)

Do they really think I read these things???

Just filling out quite a bit of my credit payments to mail out soon. Yah yah, you net geeks are probably thinking, come on anostica, you can pay all that stuff online. Well I did and HAVE..but somehow this past christmas break I had credit card fraud..donno how it happened, but I'm freaked about paying over the net now. Yah you geeks out there will prove me wrong..but I'm paranoid!

Anyways, not the point of the post. So...I'm filling out these statements and why is it that each letter has got some removable flap selling diamond bracelets and crap? do they really think I'll buy that shit? If anything it's a waste of money..none of that stuff lures me....guess I should really think hard though, I'm sure that there are quite a few who are lured.. heh ;)

Ya Gotta stop talkin!

Yep yep yep..had my butchering session this morning. Went on for 1 hour and 30 minutes!! My teacher and I took our time!! I guess I wasn't even that nervous! He was cool about it!!

About the topic of this post..hahaah. I got my cell phone bill. I really gotta stop talking! I just changed my cell phone plan so that I can get more weekday minutes..and even now they aren't enough! What's more is that I talk even more on the phone now at nights!!! Ayee... So here's the grand total everyone..total minutes I spent talking last month...WAS............5,334!!!! That equates to 222 days and 6 hours of non-stop talking!!! I wonder how I could have used all that time wisely..hmm?? Yah and payment for the bill another story...

Acck.I gotta admit..I had a lot of administrative phone calls to make too ;)

Off to study for another final...laterzzzzzzzzz

Gonna get butchered!!

ayee..tomorrow morning 11 a.m...I'm gonna get the brain blown outta my head! Worked on a take home exam since last tuesday..turned it in this morning..and is probably graded by now. Tomorrow 11 a.m. gonna have my oral defense for the exam!!!! Yep...basically orally defend all the answers i wrote...yah not so easy! Please explain this figure..please explain the set up the exp...why did they do that? And then...they ask questions about just about anything...

icck 2 a.m..should get some sleep!