How weird is this?

yah call me bored...I can't do much today in the lab considering I'm leaving this thursday for Minnesota (yah about time!)!!! Can't start exps, as they aren't done in a 3 day span...so...been reading papers, and sitting at my desk most of the day.

Went on my yahoo acctn, and it says that someone has listed me as a friend on one of the progs I use. Yah..it's a student of mine whom I taught during my first year as a masters' student. She was a freshmen..actually had graduated from my high school..damn genius too!! Weird...she'd consider me a friend...hmmm...guess it's probably cuz I let her get away with so much shit...

Not so caffeine addicted....?

Yah so winter be around the corner...and it feels good to sit down to a nice cup of hot chocolate. To date, I have probably had a cup of it daily since last monday! Haha...it just has to be something hot I guess, doesn't matter what really. Today I'm back with my old love..White chocolate mocha..mmmm :)

Okay point of post. Last year I was addicted!!! I had to have a cup of chai when I got home from school, because otherwise I would pass out sleeping. If I didn't drink it after school, I'd drink it later in the evening..but I had to have it, even on the weekends. There were times I'd drink about 2 cups a day!!!! If not chai on some days, I'd have cappachino..if not both sometimes! Now things have changed...I don't drink chai at all, or cappachino at all. When I do drink them it's not because of a dying urge for caffeine, but because I miss the taste, and hotness of the drink.

I know of some people who can't wake up without caffeine in the morning--they must have tea or something. I've never needed anything to keep me awake in the morning, but in the evening I did need something to stay alive to study..but this year, I suppose the one thing keeping me up these days might just be me being more active and letting me stay awake naturally..who knows.

All in all..I'm glad I've kicked the caffeine habit..I never wanna be addicted to something...and even if I was..I'm glad I'm over the habit.

Ramblings part 2

Another rambling session. If this is about my thoughts..I'll write my thoughts throughout the day. Starting it, and it's about 10:30.

1. It's Friday!!!
2. Someimes I wish I had straight hair..silky smooth nice straight hair. Wonder if it'd fit my personality though..
3. So much to do in lab today. Just got done with class...not really looking forward to walking outside in cold weather to other building to work..
4. Ran into culprit girl in b-room, who pees all over toilet seats..icck
5. Not looking forward to giving daily morning couseling session
6. Tailbone hurts ass..yah literally..
7. Saw documentary yesterday on postpartum (sp) depression. Talking of women who start hearing deamons..makes me wonder, what if there is another world out there with deamons..but only a few can go far to get in touch with them..or see them. And how do we know that, that world is messed up? What if it's us? We believe what's right or wrong because that's what society taught us.
8. Bought condolescence card for woman in lab whose father died...they put me in charge. I'm the card girl now.
9. People in lab love to offer me their stuff to use..I hate declining..I just wanna do it MYSELF. You only learn if you make everything from scrath on your own.
10. I've been rereading stuff to be written in the card for lab member..everyone is having me check it for them...
11. I sit next to the door by my office...everyone has their own way of walking..some drag their feet, some actually pick it up. Some walk fast, some slow, some run. Yah..I'm bored.
12. I need to be reassured all the time...of everything.
13. I have realized that there are quite a few "anony's--a.k.a anonymous" people out there that read this bloggie. Spoke to one..yah let your voice be heard
14. Can't stand copiers...don't copy me..be yourself pullleasse
15. Counseling session happened again
16. Cells aren't ready...cant' run exp till later today :(
17. Some girls need to realize that a comment can mean a lot....depending on whom it comes from. But if some sleazy dork is telling you you're gorgeous..get a life and hear it in one ear, and blow it out the other..don't think he means it. I never know how to tell these girls..
18. I wish there was a computer that could read my results and punch it into excel and pump out graphs for me..I don't wanna make it all myself.
19. Not a talkative day at all...Been walking around to lab quietly. But people must say hi and wanna talk when I'm not in the mood..
20. I eat a lot for 1 week during the month. Literally eat boy-size meals and then feel full. The rest of the month I eat like I normally do...
21. I at least have 3 members confirmed for my committee..1 still to go..
22. Fridays to me are a day to wind down and relax..not a day to go out. I hate people bugging me every friday wanting to hang out!!! (some fridays are better spent out..though not many)
23. Checked cells...still not ready..must wait till tomorrow :(
24. I actually enjoy spending a whole day to myself in my own apt...believe it or not.
25. I paid a late payment on a credit card bill the other day..which I should have never been charged. I never have late payments and I sent in the bill in time..but the stupid dude on the phone didn't get it..so I gave up. 39 bucks down the drain :( oh well..
26. I love cheesecake.......tooo much :)
27. I try to live with no regrets..but having them sucks if I don't do something...
28. So sleepy in lab today...could doze off any minute now :( I slept quite a bit last night
29. I need to workout
30. iPod's are becoming too generic. Everyone has them...
31. Can't figure out what classes to take..maybe a stats course. Third stats course in 3 years!! diluted/watered-down math sucks..
32. I realize things when it's too late..and I can only face things on my own. I hate to talk them over...
33. I know what I want...attaining it is always a different story
34. turning me self in for the day...5:30 p.m....must write weekly progress report..then I am out.

Daily Rant

Stuffz on my mind...read if you are bored..my blog is becoming a generic journal...grrr...rants throughout the day..will post around 4ish...started at 10 a.m.

err..it's about 6..just got done..will post now

1. I skipped class this morning (on purpose)
2. EPA (environ. protection people) in lab today; looking for violations--yah $30,000 fine my ass
3. Nose is stuffy, feel like I'm gonna sneeze
4. Gotta still make my committee
5. Why do sad endings make more sense to me?
6. Why do sad songs sound better?
7. School stinks
8. hands are extremely dry..winter kills them
9. ran into teacher whose class i skipped..saw her in b-room. Went to the stall she used...gagged my ass off, and held my breath till she left and walked out and ran to another stall. I gagged and hurled while holding my breath. Hope she didn't hear me.
10. one of our lab members is a b****..gives everyone a hard time. I'm sick of hearing the complaints.
11. My tailbone hurts..I can't lean on it..been like that for a few days
12. I'm addicted to the "Hamster Dance"..dumb song brother sent me...funny though
13. I'm afraid to venture out, and let loose....I'm afraid I'll fall and get hurt..must keep my guard up all the time
14. Need to work on my committee (did I already say that?)
15. No biology seminar today..hence no chewy M & M cookie for me :(
16. No handsoap in restrooms. Have to walk into to lab to wash them..
17. No energy...
18. My weakness is a white chocolate mocha which I'm having now (after lunch)
19. I hate being told from someone that they aren't a competition next to me because I'm a size zero (am one now)
20. Hate feeling hot and sweaty from drinking caffeine
21. I'm not much of a fighter in situations (except academics--but I only fight because I want to prove it to MYSELF--could care less about anyone else). I don't play games...so if someone decides to come barge in, I'm more likely to give up and run away.
22. I am gullible to a point that it annoys the shit outta me.
23. I hate people who fake a laugh when they don't get it.
24. Sick of people fishing for compliments..gimme a break
25. I can be possessive...something which is good and bad..I hate showing it.
26. I need to workout tonight
27. Hate selfish me, me, me people
28. Somtimes I say too much
29. Can't stand people who cherish a research area, and blow it up like it's their life...though they only work on the minutest (2%) part of it..and are not sciency. My research is awesome, but if anyone hears me blow it up..smack me please.
30. Just because you're short doesn't mean that you have to wear heels to look "tall" to fit into society. You won't be considered acceptable more or less...People should like you for who you are..not your damn height.
31. Lab member's father died..just spoke to her...she's doing ok.
32. Day's coming to an end...will post this..Ran 1 less experiment than I wanted because cells were not ready :(

Word of the day..

Before I get to the topic...I've been bumming in lab since this morning. Sat at my desk from 10 a.m. till 12 waiting for advisor to drop in and talk to me..luckily he did, and we spoke. I figured out my committeee..woweee. Doesn't look bad; contacted the peeps and had one decline because she's busy..oh well. Advisor will have a cow with her I'm sure. Oh well, I have backups.

Went off to lunch and had some nice warm hot chocolate..was seriously craving it. Bought a nice Aloe plant here, it was on sale...proceeds go to helping hurricane victims, how great :)

Onto the word of the day..no cheaters please, so no googling.

The word is "apush"...what language do you think it is? And what may it mean? Lets just put it this way..if someone asks what date is the holiday Fourth of July on, you know he/she is a _________________. Maybe I gave it away too fast.

I will start some dictionary word learning too..yah consider me bored..I still gotta go up and work in the other lab..

U of I is outta my mind for good!

I am starting to detest University of Iowa. As most may know or may not know..that was my other choice for schools when I got into my current degree program. That damn school was giving me more money, but it was IOWA after all..so I had to decline..OH it was a great school!

Anyways, was at Honda getting my car's oil changed this morning. Sitting in the middle of all these car mechanic dudies, as they watched ESPN. They had something about how University of Iowa has a locker room for the visiting team, and how it's been painted pink. It started 20 years ago, and was painted pink..but over the years, the pink has taken over the whole locker room, down to the urinals, toilets, bathroom doors. At first I thought it was cute..what a great idea. But then they started talking about it..and it got me wondering. The whole idea behind a "pink" lockerroom is to make the men look like sissies, which may not show it directly but gives the point that women are inferior. They talked about how U of I has been winning over the years after the locker room change. And how the coach who was a psychology prof (or something of the sort) thought of it...because he knew he could get at the minds of these men.

I guess, I'm not gonna get too much into it. But, having it be pink...wow cute and so relaxing. But to have people complain about it, and show that the main intention of having the pink was to make the men feel less than they are by being in a pink (standardly considered woman color) lockerroom evidently points at woman as inferior..Something totally not in my book of great things.

But again who defines color to be masculine or feminine? Why pink for girls and blue for boys? Why must we be raised in a society believing that color means gender? Why segregate?? Why think that pink is soft and gentle, and blue is strong and sturdy? why why why???

I'm not pissed at the pink locker room..because if you've read my post so far, you'd realize I'm being hypocritical. But what I'm pissed at is the intention behind the pink locker room. It was evidently put up for other reasons that just to have a nice pinky room....

Hopefully I made my point..

I hate fall...the leaves falling, so dead, so depressing..it's disgusting. I couldn't find any other places to take pics of when I was at school today. Was bored in lab and had a few mins before I had to walk up this pathway to the other building I work in...so I took this picture ;)
Anostica

Stinky...

How would you like to walk into a room that stinks of ass, no I mean garbage. How about taking a shower in a tub which never gets cleaned? How about taking a shower in a bathroom where you cannot see your face in the mirror of the sink? How about cooking in a kitchen where there is no counter space..and where dishes from a week ago still sit on the countertop? Or how about a kitchen sink full of dishes waiting to be washed? What about a living room with food stains on the ground...evidently not being cleaned? Grr...what about a kitchen floor never being sweeped or cleaned up if you drop shit on it??!!!! Could I stop this writing..

Yah..most people think they come home to relax...which is what I *would* like to do..but I come home to a hellhole. All I can do is sit in my room all day...as when I leave the room, I gotta face the above shit. Believe me that's only 30% of what it truely is. I clean up after my mess...but I live with a not so mannered person. At times I wonder if it was in her..or are her parents like that too? Man, if I was ever this messy..my parents would fix me up fast! I'm glad to have had parents who taught me some manners--yah even these basic ones.

I used to think my brother and sister were messier than me..or not so anal as me..but living with this "thing" made me realize that my bro and sis are cleaniesssss!!!

I give up..I'm just so pissed..I can't even go home to relax. :( I'm tempted to tell her to get the hell outta my place..I'm even more tempted to move out..and sublease my apt to her.

I wonder if this means I just can't stand people? Or what..Is it me? Or people I live with? grrrrr

My only good deed of the day

Yes my only good deed. Early morning after coming to school, I was in a mad rush to get to P3 before any of the other lab members needed to use the facility.. Considering the lab is huge with only three hoods, each designated for certain things...it's hard to use the biosafety hoods when you want them.

But on my way there...I had to walk outside to go to another building where the facility is. Right in front of me was someones' cell phone. I picked it up, and dropped it...yah nice one. Figured I'd open it up and call someone from the outgoing call list..but all were people this person knew as friends. Then I found the number to an entry called "dad"..viola..great. Called this persons' dad, explained the situation, and that I had their son or daughters cell phone on me..and was gonna turn it in. Yah bad reception, dad was happy that I had called...said it was his son's phone, who studies "turf science" at Purdue...never knew there was such a thing..so then I had to go back into biology building here, ask around till I found the main office for turfy science. Gave the phone in..did my deed and walked off. ONLY it took me about 45 mins to get it all done, and by then it was time for lab lunch for a lab member...and acck the hoods in P3 were full :(

Daily morning counseling session..

Oh before I get on this topic. Just got outta class. Couldn't stop looking at my teachers feet. The woman is sorta overweight, and she was wearing tighter than tight shoes..I mean her fat feet were bulging out of the shoes. It looked so painful and annoying to me that I couldn't even concentrate on the lecture. Just kept imagining how painful that would be for me..I hate tight shoes!!!!!

Yah..so the daily session. I better stop being too nice and being such a sponge or a listener to some peeps. I just wanna scream outttttttttttt!!!!! I suppose quite a few of my friends talk to me about their problems which is ok. But there is one here who needs me EACH morning. I gotta admit most days I'm great with it..but then there are days I've got enough shit in my head to not care...today being one of them. I just got back from class, and here she is in my office, telling me to walk out and talk...I made an excuse, no not really...I gotta figure out shit to do in the lab today..but she's like, oh I'll be back in 10 or you stop by....only problem is that I just wanna leave and avoid it all. Today just isn't my day to be hearing about how she did this and that with whoever it may beeee....grrrr

I'm must be unlucky

Why is that I can't ever get what I want? Yah...I must have bad luck. I worked my butt off in lab yesterday setting up so much stuff. There was no one in the lab except me..and man did I work hard! I got so much done when it comes to setting up media containing mammalian cells (which are used to infect viruses--since my research is on viruses now). Anyways, I go in today..and it was all bullshit. Yah, I somehow had gotten a contamination. All those years of my microbiology training of my past worked up till yesterday. So yah, I musta somehow, somewhere from the air introduced in a contaminant. All the shit I set up was cloudy and filled with bacterial growth--didn't take me long to realize those boogers were in there!!! damn them booogers

I kinda got a kick out of it..though I was very dissapointed. Called my mom and told her how bummed I was and how my research will now be lagged by 3 days...which isn't really that good considering my advisor has been on my case lately. The kick I got out of this mishap was that my masters was in microbiology, specifically bacteriology--studying bacteria. hahah and 2 years ago, I'd be bummed calling mom telling her I didn't get bacterial growth and bummy my experiments were lagged. Now it's the bacteria I DONT want...I'm still working in microbiology, just looking at viruses for my current degree. Only this time, the bacteria boogers take over...and do not allow me to grow the virus :( grrrrrrrrr what wonders of biology...

I'm done complaining..

I hate...

I hate blogs by people overseas who are messed up to add java applet shit or that open up windows slowing me down. What the hell are these idiots thinking? Do they really think that if they spent so much time on a damn blog, all of us will read that shit...when it takes a century to load? Gimme a break...whenever I run into a blog like that when I'm browsing..my first reaction is to close the browser and start over!

Only a Chiquita

So..it's been a long day for me and it's going to get longer. Woke up at 7:30 today..wohoo go me! I've been the most productive today :) Had a meeting at 9, then had to run off to class at 9:30. Got done at 10:30, and was in lab working from 10:40 till now 1 o'clock. Now was just eating lunch and a banana..got me wondering. There's tons of companies that ship apples cuz you see the weird name stickers on them..but there is ONLY one company for a banana..weird..but damn rich folks!

Gotta head off to a seminar at 1:30, then meeting following seminar. Then research following meeting, then another meeting at 6...ayee my day will never end!!! Guess I'll feel all the rush of working tomorrow...today I'm doin great :)

Magic 8 ball

If you could know of you future better than a Magic 8 ball..would you ask? What if you knew it was going to be better, would you want to know? What if you knew it would be worse? Who am I to complain..if you *knew*..then why would you seek or ask? Right. Well what if you had a hunch about it and then looked into it. Would you? Sometimes I wonder, would knowing your future solve all our problems? Or would it make it worse? Does getting to the end ruins the fun of the run, or does it not? I enjoy the struggle, but it's always nice to know what's in the end or at least know what you should seek. Just a thought..

Be Yourself..

Yah be yourself. Is that too much to ask? You'd think that by the age of at least 22; okay I'll be realistic, at least by the age of 25 (for some immature people), most people would not be afraid to be themselves. Rigght?? Noo...

I don't know how for how many years I've posted about this same topic. Must have been back when I was 19 even. It still annoys me to this day. I can't stand people who'd rather toot with someone elses horn (hahah, no nasty joke here--shah Jahan!!), rather than have the guts to toot their own. Ok..I'll put it another way, for the simpler minded folks (myself included)..Also because I don't write the best of analogies. Anyways, err basically, one should follow or do what they LIKE, and be able to stand up for it...please please please don't conform to the "crowd." I'm all about unique...not about generic. Besides forget me..be true to yourself, and be who you are..rather than what people want you to be. That goes for music tastes, clothes, opinions...

Yah I could name so many examples here..for so many different ages of people I know..but I WONT go there..no point. Just that this sort of stuff still makes me look twice and wonder...hmmmmm...If anything I hope these people grow up to raise kids with independent minds..though I doubt that one too :(

Does that 10 bucks make a diff??

So..got in a conversation about this with a friend of mine as well as my roommate. Got me wondering. Ever since last year, I've been giving money to a charity every month. I mean it's not even that much money; only 10 dollars a month really. Then there's the United Way campaign Purdue does, so I pay up for that too. But my friend and roommate say they don't have that type of money to spare. Man it really pisses me off. What's wrong with these people?? You frikkin go out and eat at restaurants for like 17 bucks, and then shit it out the next day..but you are UNWILLING to pay that 17 bucks to provide some type of support for a person in need? Come on..what is more important, an expensive shit or helping someone??? Think about it....