Sticky Friends--No Thanks! Mon Sep 4 21:08:07 2000
This message of mine deals with friendship. First of all, I'll define what a Friend is-though I feel that I probably cannot define it properly because there are too many ways/definitions to describe a friend. But I'll give it a shot anyways. Friends are people who are there for you, when you feel down, people who understand you, people you can do things with without having to go overboard to impress, and lastly they are/can be as close as family members if not closer.
The point of this message it to talk about those people out there who may come across as friends, but are rather, to me, defined as "sticky" people. They are sticky because solely for the reason that they are not independent--they always stick to their friends for everything. Don't get me wrong, but I have friends (sometimes too many of them), but yet most of my friends are the ones who aren't sticky! They (my friends) are independent, they do not lean on me for everything. I find that there is a certain distinction between a true friend and a "sticky friend" or a "user". Here's the thing, I talk to some of my friends on campus in college, and they'll be like "hey check out that guy over there walking by himself, he looks like he really needs someone to walk with"...hmm to them "it just seems that way" but to me, I feel that the guy is independent enough to walk on his own, he is independent enough to get his things done rather than wasting him time on friends every second of the day. I mean sure there are times you should spend with your friends, but if one decides to revolve their whole life around "a friend" or a "group of friends" they'll never ever get anything done. Sometimes independence is better; think of how much stuff you get done when you aren't distracted from something, how you feel you have so much time for everything, and even after finishing everything, you still feel like you have time for other things...isn't that what all of us want? Hmm..now lets say that after spending our "extra" time on getting whatever we needed to, and getting it done, we realize that we still have time left over..now to me, this is time to do something with a friend, or something of the sort. I'm not saying that one should forget friends, but that one should realize that there are other priorities in ones' life other than friends...And though yes, friendship is a priority as well, but you need to prioritize everything, including "a friend". And for what I mean by a "user" and a "sticky" friend..hmm, well a friend that sticks with you for whatever you do, hmm..he/she is kinda using you for "Company"..who knows he/she could just hate you, but only sticks to you, because he/she is afraid to face the real world (there are people like that! they cannot walk alone by themselves!!!).
Anyhow..what else did I have to say..A repition--To me, a person is a good person if they do anything and everything independently. And if a friend comes along with this independent person, he/she treats the friend as a friend, and doesn't start taking orders from their friend. A person who lives his/her life under the control of a friend or stuck (sticky) to a friend is not an independent person. Say that friend dies, then what happens?? I always wonder..sure that person will move on, but heck, they'll find another person to stick to. And yes, sometimes you should compromise with a friend as well--I'm NOT denying that!
Here's the thing. I'm not jealous of people who have the bestest of friends, or whatever; I've got enough friends. But the fact of the matter is this, friends should be given time, and not given 24/7 of someone's life! Just like one takes time to do homework, one should make time for friends. And one can still be good friends with someone even if they do not spend each minute with that person! I've been best friends with about 4 people now for the last 11 years, and well I don't spend each minute of my life with them and I guess they are fine with that, and they actually love me for it! They admire me for who I am...And I guess I feel independent enough, that I can make time for my friends, and I can also do other things at the same time.
Independence is something I talk about on this message board a lot..and I just feel that everyone needs to live their life their own way..forget society..forget that "image" thing..you're only messing your head up!