social acceptance through children?? Sun May 21 22:51:15 2000
Hmm..well I've seen it happen too much..and this posting of mine is more of an "annoyance" as compared to my other postings, but nonetheless it's still a "thought" of mine :)
So here goes. The story is like this; A parent tells his or her child to do well in school, or on his/her team (the child's) for Basketball (example!). So then when this child does extremely well, I mean, so well that the child is considered the best in the region, state, country, whatever--the parent starts to use this for their advantage. And the story goes from being a child's accomplishment to a parents way of 'showing off' to get attention within their (the parents) group of friends. I really don't like this situation, and never have. Now, I'm NOT saying that parents should never tell their children to do well in school--I'm saying that they should, but I'm saying that when the child does do well, the parent should leave it as an accomplishment on the child's part..an accomplisment in the child's life, and NOT make an accomplishment for themselves (the parent). The parent simply informed, the rest was on the child's part. The child could have either taken the advice thrown it away, or used it..and for those children that use the advice..it does not mean that it's all uh 'because' of the parent, but rather that it IS because of the child.
I can be told to eat garbage for a year from my parent, and I'd say no to it..but till the day I realize that I DO want to eat garbage, I won't do it! Now, in this situation I did follow what I believed...the parent wasn't involved that much to be considered fully responsible for my action--I WAS!
Also..I find that a lot of conversations these days between parents are of--my child did this, and my other one did that--come on, don't parents have anything better to talk about? I Know they are proud of their children..but should they announce it to the whole world?? Doesn't the paper in their town do that...I mean if the child does well, the child's name does come in the paper...
Lastly..I DO believe that a parent should tell others about their child's accomplishment only when asked to do so! NOT, whenever there is nothing better to talk about in a conversation between parents!! If someone asks "how is your child doing" then say "hey, he's doing well..he got this blah blah blah"..but what I hate is when the first thing out of a parent is Hello (obviously), followed by "well ya know, my Johnny keeps winning everything"...HELLO did anyone ask??
To sum up..some parents use their childrens accomplishment to get attention...to gain superiority...to gain social acceptance...why can't those parents do it elsewise?? I always wonder?
That's it...I hope I stated my point clearly..

Note: to all who read..I'm not jealous of anything..I love it when kids do well in school and make their parents proud..I love children who walk the right path..I just HATE parents who don't know how to praise their child's accomplishment in the right manner....